Some complaining ahead: I’m still struggling to find back into music. My singing seems to be stunted somehow, and at the moment I don’t dare to think of myself as a musician, which, in turn, hampers my making music. Maybe it’s all the “shoulds” and “musts” that are stringed to that – I should be somewhere with my art and my singing now instead of feeling like I start from the beginning for the umpteenth time… Continue reading
Somehow my musicianship seems to be buried these days under everyday life issues: my livelihood is on shifting ground, I just begin to find a clue what to do with my messed-up professional life (and it will take loads of work, but might make me happier than being in a 9to5 job I don’t belong in), and I savour the available time with my girlfriend (yes, I’m in a relationship for just over half a year now), and then there is a health issue I need to take care of or it will aggravate again and grow really chronic.
But making music, especially songwriting and -recording, regular practice, getting out of my rut* and into the zone/headspace where meaningful things happen … all these things somehow got thrown under the bus in the last months.
And then there’s moments when some music comes along and rips right through this ocean of worries I find myself in, punches me in the face, grabs me by the scruff of the neck and screams in my face: “THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE MEANT TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE: SING!!! MAKE MUSIC!!!” Like the music of In Legend.
I just pre-ordered their upcoming album “Stones at Goliath”. Makes me excited every time I listen to the previews:
Feels like being brought back from the dead.
I understand that there must be times like these. Times where other dimensions of life need to be taken care of, even if I miss my musician self and even if it feels really crappy and all I can do is maintain my voice and some basic technical skills on the guitar. I’ll be patient with myself in the next few months, and hope that the time until I can create room for my musician self to re-surface and be more present won’t be too long.
* I dislike bashing the comfort zone. You need one. No matter how challenge is necessary for growth: You need a strong, safe foundation to depart from and something you can come home to, and being so constantly out of it that you forget how that feels like can’t be healthy. I’ve been there, and it harmed me.