Both FAWM 2017 and FAWM 2018 had been FAWMs where I had pretty sparse results. Well, in 2017 I was busy getting (legally) married and moving in with my wife. In 2018, I hadn’t gotten my recording setup out yet and I was busy with (breadwinning) work.
This year, I was finally feeling more in balance. But my songwriting mojo was buried deep and I had to dig it back out. I have rarely felt so unable to judge the quality of what I was writing and so self-conscious and vulnerable.
Also, I could barely make the time to write anything at all, but feeling self-conscious and vulnerable was the main reason why I wasn’t sharing anything.
Also, most of my output this time was lyrics. A thing I always struggle with, and so I wanted to get the lyrics down first before I made music… I usually have a very hard time coming up with lyrics for existing music, so I think a lyrics-first approach is easier for me. I don’t regret focusing on better lyrics this time, and I think it started to get easier. I also think I still have a far way to go on my path to good lyrics. I’m not even talking about bringing lyrics and music together yet, which is a whole other story.
My recording setup and workflow are nowhere near where I want them. Basically, when I moved in 2017, that disrupted things and I never got around to setting them back up.
Then, I’d like to learn to make songs that are longer than, say, 3 minutes and aren’t all computer-made, but have recorded components. That feels daunting at the moment.
So, there’s a lot still to learn and to do. There are also a few things that work well: I’m pretty happy with my vocal health at the moment (in part, thanks to a fitness routine I follow pretty rigorously, including a daily morning yoga practice), I am getting better at practicing guitar every day and building some technique there, and thanks to singing lots of Swing Jazz in my choir, I think my sense of rhythmic accuracy got better. All in all, I’m slowly approaching a place where I can say that music has the place in my life it deserves.