So the builders are in the apartment below me, which is undergoing extensive renovation. And they’re drilling and hammering and making noise all day. And on top, I’ve got a scary big job to complete.
That’s why, apart from my usual procrastination, I’m not doing anything for 50/90 right now. The ideas are there, but it’s working on them where I find myself lacking.
… and I’m woefully unprepared. I haven’t changed my guitar strings, my fingers aren’t used to steel strings (I’ve been playing predominantly concert guitar in the last couple of months), I haven’t practiced much, my creative muscles are out of training… and on top, I’ll take the opportunity to spend the weekend with my girlfriend. (I also hope that her place in the Black Forest is a little more bearable than searingly hot Freiburg.) But perhaps I’ll have the opportunity to record some quick sketches on the piano, throw down some lyrics or make some a cappella sketches. I also hope to borrow some books from her 🙂
I’ll go where my muses lead me, this time trying to see through longer and more demanding songs (especially lyrically, but also songs with more complex arrangement, more voices, more deliberate use of effects than my usual slapped-together guitar, voice, maybe drums), but I also want less stress, less getting bogged down, more letting go. I’ll try and not get too hell-bent on winning.
My artistic flame has somehow died down to a faint ember in the past few months while I was trying to get my everyday life ordered. It still isn’t ordered and feels fairly provisory. So this is what I most hope for: stoking those embers and rekindling them to a mighty, bright, glorious blaze; trust that I am Good Enough and worthy of calling myself a musician.